Entry #25 - 1.31.5503
I'd assumed, after the Ecila made themselves known (see Journal entry #22), that my feelings of unease would subside. I thought, two weeks back, that my growing anxiety had been wholly in response to the Ecila's dimensional harmonics being out of sync with those of the Ohm central city, and of us. But in the days following their visit my sense of something being very, very wrong has been growing stronger.
At first, I thought it was just worry over Mar's latest escapade dealing arms in some far-off corner of the galaxy -- or anxiety over evidence that Hershel is plotting another attack. But lately, these past couple days in particular, I've come to realize it's much, much more. An evil has taken root, and it's getting stronger.
It wasn't exactly a revelation -- this realization of something bad coming down -- but more of an awakening. Ever since my transformation back on Little Geck my ability to sense energy patterns -- emotions -- has been growing stronger. And since we reclaimed the Ohm central city last year it's been expanding outward, too -- my senses becoming profoundly connected to energies that constitute the seamless, infinite fabric of space. It's kind of like putting a finger into the ocean and feeling a minnow breach the surface half a world away. So, whereas I was originally limited to sensing only emanations from other, nearby creatures, I find I can now sense even the faintest ripples in energy even light years away.
At any rate, I've had this growing, gnawing discomfort in my gut for a long time now. I've blamed it on the stress of relocating to Ohm, difficulties re-purposing the central city, ongoing conflicts with Hershel, concern for my rats, Athena and Mar -- hell, I've blamed it on everything but the thing I'd been sent here to confront and correct: a slow disintegration of the universe as we know it. You see, up until now I'd thought -- rather naively -- that the destruction of ecosystems, planets, solar systems, etc. was all the result of free will in the service of greed. I thought all I really had to do was get the word out -- enlighten the galactic masses, get them to see the ultimate consequence of their actions and, bingo, they'd change. I hadn't considered the possibility of a negative force proportionate to the power of will -- an evil elemental in the universe, without will or intent -- might be exerting directional influence beyond conscious recognition on the part of the individual. And the direction it's leading isn't good.
My awakening to this evil came late last night, as I was configuring my telescope and camera to shoot more pix of the stars. It was like a cold stabbing sensation on a metaphysical level -- like a phantom icicle stuck into my soul. Focusing my lens on a specific point in the sky, one that I'd not even considered before that moment, I looked to where a once-vibrant system had resided just days before and beheld -- nothing. In its place was what appeared to be a void in the middle of the sky -- a gaping black hole still in the process of contraction; a well of gravity so concentrated it was sucking up everything in its midst. A system that had been visible just moments before had collapsed in on itself-- a victory of evil.
Mind you, now, when I talk about "evil" I'm not speaking of some anthropomorphic embodiment of badness -- there are no devils or demons to blame here. What I'm talking about is a force of nature, an intrinsic part of the universe with no more conscious intent than that of, say, a fungus. And, like a fungus, it needs but the right conditions to germinate and spread. And in the case of evil, all that's required to flourish is intelligence lacking a sense of moral responsibility -- something sadly abundant among most so-called evolved civilizations. But this is one thallophyte that can't be killed with two weeks application of Tinactin.
When we founded the Academy (CAIE) it was dedicated to "personal evolution and the advancement of universal accord -- self-actualization and harmony among life forms." It may sound grand, but it's really pretty simple -- and it's what we need if we're ever going to win-out over evil. But here's the fly in the ointment: beings like the Grand Geckins and Dr. Hershel -- doomed creatures that have willingly nurtured evil in their souls -- their numbers are increasing. And that brings us back to the gnawing discomfort growing in my gut.
You see, until now I thought we were simply working to enlighten the galactic masses -- a laudable and intrinsically safe mission. As for the likes of Hershel and the Geckins, while I always knew they were rotten I'd never before considered them part of the larger problem. I just thought they were nasty little creeps to be avoided. Now, however, I've come to realize they're all part of the same evil -- part of a negative force permeating the universe and getting stronger. And it's been a growing awareness of this encompassing evil, coupled with the realization that our enemies are far more dangerous than previously appreciated, that has been eating at me.
What I thought was a battle for the hearts and minds of "men" has turned out to be a war for the very soul of the universe. And while the odds were always high -- suddenly the opposition is looming much, much larger.
